No Agenda

X marks the spot.    That has nothing to do with what I'm going to write, I just heard it on TV.  

I really love the Colossians series we are going through at Church.  you should go listen to some of them if you haven't.   http://jacobswellchurch.org/audio   Any of the recent one's (after the ones succeeding the "apostles" one by shane wessel) are all the colossians stuff.  It is fun stuff.

Well.  That's it.  I just got told I'm going to go study now.  So i'm outta here. hopefully something more providential will be in the works soon.   Love you.

-Alan Fogleman

Currently Listening Mockingbird By Derek Webb #2. . It's what you should be listening to now. It's very profound, take a break and have a listen. I can't get it to work on this page yet, but it's on my audio page. see related

Perhaps a bit more on selfisness (but it's implicit)

                    This is the word of the LORD!

" And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists AND that he rewards those who earnestly seek him."      -hebrews 11.6

                    Thanks be to God!

This verse particularly caught my attention today.  I believe that there is a God, and I believe that he was born of a virgin, crucified, buried, raised to life.  I believe in the Holy Spirit.    But!  the question is do I please God?  Accoding to this scripture not only do you need to believe all this stuff, but there is something that the apostles creed misses out on.   Believing that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. 

More often than not, I see myself beliving in God, and then believing that he rewards those who earnestly seek to please him by their actions.   (this is where the selfishness comes in)   It is regularly the case that I just flat out don't believe that God will satisfy me, let alone reward me.  Of course, if I was asked in a bible study what it looks like to please God or what makes him happy I would say things like, " You have to be giving your whole self to God, you have to believe that he has your best interets in mind and faithfully acknowledge that he will provide for you, and gives you much more than you could ever ask or hope for."   I would continue on that, "to do anything but the afforementioned would declare that you don't love God, because just like in 1 corinthians God isn't interested in how much you know, or how good you are at something,  God is interested in getting the glory and any time that you are doing something of your own accord it allows you to give you praise and honor and not the one who created you." 

Oh my answers are very impressive. I know.  I'm a stellar person :)    But man oh man once i start living again instead of talking, oh how my tone changes.   If i ever act on the fact that God rewards those who earnestly seek him, I would like it documented because it seems like I do everything but.   I believe in God and that he rewards those who do things for themselves.   If you can train your body to do the things it's 'supposed' to do, only then will God be happy.  My actions declare that it is up to me to gain reward by doing instead of believing and receiving.  

The other thought that popped in my mind, praise the Lord, is that just holding to the first part of that verse is inherently contradictory.   "Without faith it is impossible to please God, you must believe that he exists!"  If that was all she wrote,  it wouldn't make a bit of sense, because you could come and say,  But even the demons believe that, and shudder.   So are they too pleasing God?   I would bet, 10:1 odds, they aren't.    Thats why I love this verse. 

Hello!   God rewards those who earnestly seek him!   Approach the thrown of grace with confidence, knowing that you will be given grace and mercy to help you in your time of need (a bad paraphrase i know).   God is after your heart, not your actions.  Brendan Manning would say that he is much more interested in your heart than any specific success or failure.  And that God expects you to fail much more than you ever thought possible.  (God has a lot better picture of us, of our own accord, than we do (pride, selfishness))  

All I have to say is praise the Lord that we aren't viewed as we should be.  We are viewed as Christ because of his sacrifice.  Which, then, should lead you to ponder the following:   If God views us as Christ, and he rewards those who seek him, then wouldn't it follow that if we are earnestly seeking God we will/are being rewarded as Christ?   I'm not sure, but ephesians 2.6 might be an interesting discussion topic.  Raised with Christ, Seated with Christ,  Incomparable riches?     It seems like it. 

Well folks.   That's all i'm going to write today, I am procrastinating a bit and need to do homework bad.  (5 projects to finish and 3 midterms within the next 6 days, plus standard homework in other classes)  But oh the Joy that can be had in Christ.  

Also, please, if you have any comments, or want to discuss, drop me a line, and remember all scripture is God breathed and inspired and useful for teaching, rebuking, and training in righteousness.  So if i'm being heretical confront me cause that's what your supposed to do, what being iron and all. 

Love!

-Alan

You've heard it said Money is at the root of all Evil, but I say, "selfishness is indeed the embodim

Man the more I think about it the more I think that Selfishness is indeed at the root of all that is evil and profane.  Name one thing that you think isn't selfish, but is still sin.    go!

Let's think about what sins look like.   

Perhaps we could just look at the opposites of the fruits of the spirt: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies and the like.

I'm not going to go into each, but if you can see something in this list that does not spur from selfishness I'd like to hear what you have to say. 

Even the two greatest commandments are broken because of selfishness.  Love God above all else.  Love people above all else. 

These are broken because we love ourselves more than the afforementioned parties.   that sucks.  Ahhh! but there is hope. 

Though we are completely selfish we aren't stayin' that way, because we are new creations.  the old has gone, the new has come.   But why does this continue on?  I'm still probably the most selfish person I've ever encountered.

We are not bound by selfishness, and yet we are.   paul says that he knows what he's supposed to do, he even wants to do it, but he keeps doing stuff that he knows he shouldn't, and actually doesn't even want to do.  

All i know is that we don't give enough credit to sin and the devil.  Consequently we give almost no attention to the power of God.    I have recently experienced, i think, what paul meant when he said that what he wants to do he doesn't do and what he does do he doesn't want to do.   Most of the time I think we gloss over what his actually feels like.  We think, well duh i don't want to do that stuff so it shouldn't be a problem i'll just stop.  But then you start being a jerk to people or start talking behind peoples backs, and eventually you think, eh, I probably shouldn't have done that.  However you don't really tie it in that you don't want to do that stuff, it doesn't pain you.  (hebrew's might contend that you've been hardened by sins deceitfulness. another topic of discussion though.)  I think what paul was dealing with was very deep, very painful to him.  It may have been something very trivial to us, you know like not doing someone else's dishes because they aren't yours and that jerk should learn to clean up after himself, but it never the less paul would have probably been deeply grieved.    The only way that I've experienced this type of grief is when I legitimately want to do something, and then, later, after I've done whatever it was that I wanted to do I remember, almost instantaneously, that I have a savior who loves me and who got beat to death (an understatement) for what I just did. 

This is where we don't give enough credit to the devil.  When we ignore that we actually like being selfish and we think it's not a big deal we are being extremely ignorant.  If sin wasn't fun if it didn't bring us some instant gratificaion we wouldn't be doing it.  Alas, I am the chief of sinners, sorry paul I got you beat.  Thinking that we can just stop sinning and change is the dumbest thing i think i've ever heard.  And i think it's probably one of the three greatest lies.  (right behind the fruit of the tree not causing certain death, and Jesus being a white middle class republican (derek webb lyrics)).   Because in the time when we feel that we can handle sin on our own we are declaring that sin actually isn't a problem and therefore we don't actually need God's help for it.  Hello!  the devil is exstatic about that realization.   When we go on pretending that we will just not lie, or cheat, or be sexually immoral next time the opportunity presents itself the devil wins.  He knows we will take the opportunity if it's afforded us.   He has been trickin' me for about 20 years.   I know that the next time I'm presented with an opportunity to sin I will most definitely take it!  I want to take it.  I want to please myself more than I want to please God.

This is where we underestimate God.  He expects us to screw up infinitely more than we think we are capable.  (arrogance can be very blinding)  He says, "I don't care, well I do, but I've taken care of it, So quit trying to fix yourself because you aren't going to be able to bear the burden."  If God is the ultimate winner of this battle, then doesn't that mean that He can keep us from sinning? I think it does, but I don't think it comes easy.  It seems that this is why we are exhorted to pray without ceasing.  I experienced a sense of this freedom from sin at church the other day.  It was after a night of being sexually immoral, that term seems so vauge these days, and I realized as I was in church worshiping the man my infidelities crucified that I had not even the slightest desire to do anything that would greive the Holy Spirit.   Shortly after I left my communication with the creator, I realized something else, I was yet again neck deep in sin, this time I was just being selfish with my time and my comfort instead of my physical desires, but it's still sin right?    This is the reason I'm journaling this, because I'm sure that Christ has the power to retreive us from this terror, but I just don't think it comes easy.  Praying without ceasing, Worshipping Christ every second of every day seems nearly impossible.  I don't trust God's power.  I want to, don't get me wrong, I want desperatly want deliverance.  It's unclear to me, but ultimately we are supposed to seek holiness, it seems so far away.

So here is the summary.    

1) All sin is summed up by selfisness (I didn't really talk about it besides it being at the beginning of this blog, but it's definitely true, discuss.. . . )  

2)  We sin and drastically Underestimate the Power of the Devil, he is a lot stronger than we are, a lot!

3)  There is no word to describe how much we don't believe God's power over sin (and therefore our selfishness.)  

4)  If we were in constant worship and addoration,  We would have our eyes fixed on Christ, the author and perfecter of our faith, and sin would seem incomprehensible.  Oh how i want that!

I don't have a conclusion.  I'm just saying.  These things ring out true.  I think the more we seek God the more we feel completely depraved, but I don't think that we are mean to relish in this fact, though I like to relish in my depravity it seems counter intuitive, i know,  but i bet you do it too, or know someone who does.  I think that we are to forget this and look forward to what lies ahead. (perfection) Because the fixing of our eyes on Jesus lets us view what is incomparably greater than we could have ever asked or hoped for. 

I'm now being bombarded with friends and homework, some I gunna head out, but discuss.  I'm sure it's riddled with mistakes and possible herecies, but nothing a little conversation and a lot of Jesus can't cure.

Love.

Currently Listening Arriving By Chris Tomlin, Steven Curtis Chapman see related

- INDESCRIBABLE!

It's time to update! Alas, nothing comes to mind.

So i understand that i haven't updated in over a month.  basically I'm a bum.  Which actually brings us to why i'm here.  I'm procrastinating.  I should be doing my statistics or studying arabic, so that i can start studying for my managerial accounting test thursday.  But am I?  nope.   Good ole procrastination.   That's one of the reasons i'm going to be mentored by one of the most amazing men i know.   Fletch kelley.   he's the best riverdancing-toilet fixing-bow-hunting-tornado lassoing-fire breathing-operations manager this side of the mississippi.   Needless to say i'm excited for the summer!

Ok well i don't want to be a downer, so i'll try to say something encouraging I feel like this is a rareity, though i wish it wasn't.

Today is a day to love.  

It seems to me that it would do us some good to think about life the way C.S. Lewis did when he said that we are never interacting with with mere mortals.  Every one has an eternal life, or death.   But we aren't just here.   That's probably why Paul said to put others intrests before ours and to consider them better than ourselves. 

This world should be different then it is.  And you know what it's not going to change because we pass this legislation or that legislation.  Or we put a fish sticker here or there.   The world is going to change when we embrace the idea that our wisdom is crap, and God knows how to do stuff way better then we do.  Instead of trying to win people over through our dazzling philosophies it is probably a better idea to learn how to love them them as better than ourselves.  and love God above everything else.  While this happens i think we will see the pride and arrogance we possess slowly, often times painfully yet joyfully, slip out of reach.  And as that happens we see God demonstrating his power in ways that we can never comprehend.   *Taken from 1 cor. 2 & Phillipians 2 and the pride thing from just about everywhere else in the bible, cause God opposes the proud and gives grace to the humble.(james 4:6 quoting proverbs 3:34)

I encourage you today, to pray that God will take away your pride so that you can see what it looks like to Love him with a passion that only he can give.  And then ask to see what it looks like to start treating others as if they were better than yourself, as if they were Jesus, for whatever you do to the least of these people you do to me (saith the Jesus) 

I think that you can read all the books in the world and gain whatever knowledge you want, but bottom line is this.    Jesus loves you so much, and he wants you to love him so much too.  And he doesn't want you to pretened that you need to have everything figured out and you don't need to impress him by doing everything yourself.  Because you came to faith in him by the Holy spirit, so why are you trying to fix yourself through your own strength.(galatians 3:1-15)  So a lot of the time while we are trying to fix ourselves we are missing out on his grace, and we are definitely missing out what it looks like to see His power demonstrated, because of the whole pride thing that we talked about earlier.  He doesn't want you to do it on your own, this is a marriage relationship we get to have so lets be one flesh with Jesus lets not diminish that by trying to be Whores! (oh ezekiel 16).   I pray that we would understand that he is actually the bomb (way more the bomb than we are!)

And for all those who got mad at me for saying that we don't have to try to work at stuff and to just go on sinning so that grace can increase (BY NO MEANS!) :)   I'll i'm saying is this: Love God and Love others, and the rest of the 613 laws are summed up by these two, these greatest commandments.   What i'm saying is ask God to show you what it looks like to do these two things, because if God is showing you what it means to truly love, not the diluted version that we know, then there is no way that you will not be keeping his commands, you will be living in obedience, and that's how you show God you love him.  (1 John 2)

Not that i have attained all this but this one thing I have forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead. (Phillipians 3:13) 

So there it is guys.  Today, and everyday, lets pray that God would teach us How to truly love those around us.  and above all how to Love Him!  

I'm excited for what the world is going to look like when this happens.  Lets not keep Jesus locked up in our cute things that make us seem relevant, cause we are only being cute and inviting Sacrifice!  (Matt: 7 (the message))

Ahh,  I'm excited,  Just think what could happen if we start trying to do stuff on our own, and give our lives, everything we have, all the praise honor and Glory to God. I'm pretty sure the world won't be the same.  Maybe it will be the same, but i think probably the Book of Acts would beg to differ.

So blessings friends, Enjoy your Jesus cause he Loves you in a way you've never understood, but always wanted to.   oh man i want to know this love.

Lord, you are the bomb, sorry i try to take your credit.  Teach me what it means to love people unbashfully.  Show me what it looks like to love You with more passion then i can imagine,  I don't know how to do that and i can't conjure it up so how about you just guide me and take all the credit!!!

love.!

Flippancy and Bullshit

My love is flippant, and my life is full of bullshit.   There's really no other way to describe it.  I have never had an unselfish thought.  We as christians are doing terribly with regards to being stewards of our lives.  I don't care who you are.  bottom line :   we are terrible people. 

I was reading the message version of james 4 today and man what are we doing?

People are killing themselves (a guy from my highschool just hung himself, and my neighbors are devestated.)  And we sit around and pretend like we are the only people who matter.  When we should be considering others before ourselves, as better than ourselves, and treating everyone as if they are Jesus.

to quote james now.  message version.  "you're cheating on God.  And do you suppose God doesn't care?  the proverb has it that 'he's a fiercely jealous lover.' and what he gives in love is far better than anything else you'll find. It's common knowledge that 'God goes against the willful proud; God gives grace to the willing humble." So let God work his will in you.  Quit dabbling in sin.  Purify your inner life.  Quit playing the field.  Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out.  The fun and games are over.  Get serious, really seroius. Get down on your knees before the master; it's the only way you'll get on your feet.  Don't bad-mouth each other, friends.  It's God's Word, His Message, his Royal Rule, that takes a beating in that kind of talk.  you're supposed to be honoring the message, not writing graffiti all over it. God is in charge of deciding human destiny.  Who do you think you are to meddle in the destiny of others?"

This life is not a game.  Have we ever been on our knees, hitting bottom and crying our eyes out?   There are so many people that we interact with every day that we treat with complete disregard.  There is no longer any time to play games.  We need to be salt an light to this generation.  we need to quit exchanging the truth of God for a lie.  How can we keep pretending that being loving means having bible studies and theorizing about what good and evil are, and yet completely shut our spiritual lives down the second we leave the 'church.'  We need to be loving people inspite of their sins and without any thought of how that is going to make us look! 

I want to be done considering myself top priority.  I want to learn what it means to treat others as better than myself.  I want to be broken before the thrown of God like isaiah.  I want to say woe is me i am ruined for i am a man of uncleaned lips and i live amongst a people of unclean lips.   i want to be on my knees weeping because of my sin.  not dabbling in it so i can entertain myself. (because after all it's not all that entertaining.  It's just a perversion of something that God has in a way better form if we will only be patient) 

Lord Jesus, 

Teach me to love.  Grant me grace.  Show me what it means to be humble.  Rip the planck of disdain, hatred, contempt for my fellow man from my eye.  And let me not try to pawn sin off only on my brother.  cause his is far less.  it's only sawdust.   show me what this looks like.  I'm sick of all the stupid talk that i do.  Teach me to put your words into action, and make my house a firm foundation on you.   I want you.